COPYRIGHT © Pia Newell Santiago, 2014-2019. All rights reserved.

I once mentioned to someone that I don't wear colours that aren't naturally occurring. He asked, "What about all the orange you wear?" My answer, "Leaves in the fall...and oranges." Brightness abounds! We can choose to take notice.

 

 

 

1. We learn to think relationally;
2. which works instrumentally;
3. but increases our access to pain, and causes misery when applied to our own insides.
4. You cannot rein in this kind of judgment judgmentally,
5. but you can learn to do so mindfully, with resulting b...

If committed to both honest self-advocacy and being loving, there is a manner of communication which accords with both those values. It's an efficient form of communicating because expressing your own observations and needs in the situation, and keeping yourself from b...

"It's time for us to put down the idea that we have to think well of ourselves at all times to be mature, successful, functional, mentally healthy individuals. Indeed, this toxic idea can foster a kind of narcissistic ego-based self-story that is bound to blow up on us...

...There cannot be right or wrong values because, by definition, your values are how you are evaluating your own behavior. Values are the ruler.


...Feelings are not good guides for behavior...If you chose to be a loving partner but decide to be loving only when feeling...

Some of the comments posted to this video are funny. One of my favourites is, "Yep, lock the door and he comes through the window, lock the window and he jumps the fence..."  It's funny because it's true!

 

The video is titled as an ACT metaphor though it may not be clea...

Steven Hayes, one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) explains how understanding the processes of psychological flexibility which ACT targets, is important outside the therapeutic setting: "anywhere that a human mind goes, these processes go."

 

The "acceptance" in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is not about condoning mistreatment; it isn't about resignation; it isn't about wallowing: acceptance is about openness to experience. Acceptance is about being willing to experience ourselves fully, to experi...

Our intimate relationships with family, friends, and life partners are the foundations of an ethical life...The challenges of marriage are many, but the rewards are great. In forcing you to connect with your humanness, marriage can give you an identity not determined b...

Buddhist meditational experience of nature's independent non-duality has parallels in mystical experiences of "unity" in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. But while such states are undoubtedly blissful, dwelling in their powerful intensity is also dangerous. Egoism and...

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"It's time for us to put down the idea that we have to think well of ourselves at all times to be mature, successful, functional, mentally healthy ind...

When self-esteem is elusive: self-compassion

January 11, 2015

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