1. We learn to think relationally;
2. which works instrumentally;
3. but increases our access to pain, and causes misery when applied to our own insides.
4. You cannot rein in this kind of judgment judgmentally,
5. but you can learn to do so mindfully, with resulting broad and deep benefits, especially when it is part of a pattern of values-based action. Hayes, Steven C & Plumb, Jennifer C. (2007). Mindfulness from the bottom up: Providing an inductive framework for under
...There cannot be right or wrong values because, by definition, your values are how you are evaluating your own behavior. Values are the ruler. ...Feelings are not good guides for behavior...If you chose to be a loving partner but decide to be loving only when feelings of love for your partner were present, what would happen? You probably would be a pretty terrible partner. Part of being a partner is showing up when things are decidedly not pleasant, when feelings of love ar
Our intimate relationships with family, friends, and life partners are the foundations of an ethical life...The challenges of marriage are many, but the rewards are great. In forcing you to connect with your humanness, marriage can give you an identity not determined by the sometimes inhumane demands of the worlds outside the hearth. Bell, Derrick (2003). Ethical Ambition: Living a Life of Meaning and Worth. #relationships #values